Thursday, February 01, 2007

MEETING WITH DOCTORS ON THURSDAY

Today I met with the doctors and things went as well as I expected. Not good. As I had already known the radiation and oral chemo shrunk my cancer in parts of the spine and maintained everything in the brain and lower spine. However, although this sounds pretty good it is not. My cancer is not going away. They can maintain where it is at for a while, however, it is going to eventually get worse and ultimately lead to my demise. We do not know how long this will be. This is not good. Next week my mom, bob, dad, vicky and me are all setting out in the motor home (a rental) and heading to the great northwest in the form of Vancouver, Seattle, Washington, San Franciscco, The Grand Canyon. I know some of these aren't in the great northwest, but deal with it. All these are major cities that I have never been too, and they are cities with friends and family located in them. Thus, we will be making many stops on this road trip to say hi to many of my friends. So watch out if you are on the way. I am really looking forward to this roadtrip, however, it is weird not knowing how much time I have left, and not knowing how much time I have here on God's green earth. Make sure if you have any questions, post them here, and I hope you are all having a great day.

That's all folks!!

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

Justin, I cannot emphasize enough how amazing you are!! You are so courageous and have an incredible faith. I know for a fact you are a great inspiration to us ALL!! I'm sorry the appt. didn't go as well as hoped, but everyone is still behind you and praying for you every day. I love you sooo much JJ, and I'm excited for you and your family to go on a really fun trip!! It's gonna be great for you to see those parts of the country and get to see all your friends and family at the same time!! Have fun buddy!

Love you lots, Chantel

Anonymous said...

Ohh and I forgot, my mother was a lil' disappointed to see that I posted for everyone to see that she "talks alot". haha I was just kiddin' around anyways :) I figured you would get a lil' chuckle out of it! Have a fantastic evening JJ!!

Your cuz, Chantel

Anonymous said...

JJ,

You are the man!! I wish I was there to plant a big hug on you bro'!! It sounds like quite a trip you have planned, if we're lucky it will make a stop over in the greater Wichita area! The wichita faction of the Kukowski family sending our love your way!

Kyle

Anonymous said...

JJ, Jill and I are always thinking about you and we send our love. Denver is pretty close to the northwest, so hopefully you can make a stop!!

jeff l.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there kuke! I believe God works in many ways. Get out there and have fun!

Mike Brokofsky

Anonymous said...

Hi Justin

Im sorry to hear the appointment didnt go better, and I am also amazed at your courage and faith. you teach me a lesson in faith, for sure! I hope I can get a chance to see you before your wonderful trip and say Hi. Our prayers are still with you, as always! Deb Bauer

Anonymous said...

Justin, you are amazing and I'm so happy you are going out there to explore and see all you can see. You have so much love surrounding you and I'm happy I can be part of this. Have fun and enjoy!

LGW

Shanny said...

Justin,
I wish I could tell you how much I admire your spirit JJ. We were praying for better news from your team of doctors today but I love how you already have another plan to jump in an RV and take a road trip with your Mom's and Dad's across the country! We love you so much and will be praying for you to have an awesome trip. love and hugs from your auntie and the whole family

Adam Meyer said...

Hey Kuke,

That sounds like it will be a really fun road trip...RV's are sweet! How long are you going to be on the road for? Give me a call or e-mail when you get back because myself and Amanda would like to come up and see you. I'm praying for you buddy and have a great trip

Adam

Anonymous said...

hey buddy... I am missing you a lot. You're always on my mind here in LaCrosse... BUT DANG, GO OUT AND ENJOY YOUR SPECTACULAR TRIP!!!! MAN, THAT'S AWESOME TO HEAR!!!!


(JJ YOU'RE AWESOME,AND I LOVE YOU!!! I know that you've heard that a lot, but I didn't think one more time would hurt)

If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you shall say unto this mountain, Move from here to there; and it shall be done; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

I LOVE YOU JJ!!! KEEP ON ROCKIN' KIDDO :)

Anonymous said...

RV road trip? That will be great! You are the best person to road trip with! Your mom, dad, Vicki, and Bob are so luck to be going with such a great guy! And I would have to agree with Jeff! Colorado would be a GREAT place for guys to come to! If you can schedule it in! Hang in there! We are all praying for you.
Love you so much,
Amber

Tom said...

I am SO sorry jj that you have to go through all of this.......I can not believe this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you so much jj. You are such an amazing friend and I don't know what I'm going to do with out you. I wanna meet you on at least one of the cities that your going to be at....if not more.

I'm gonna call you tomorrow.

with so much love,

tom

i admire so much on how brave you are

Anonymous said...

Hey JJ,
I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and what a great friend that you have always been to me. When I am praying for you, I always think of all the sweet times that we had together. Some of them that come to mind are shooting hoops in gym class, and hanging out with the KOG crew. We had some pretty sweet road trips to colorado. Remember when my college had a fire and I got to stay there 2 extra weeks, and we checked out the rodeo hall of fame and the lady let us in free and the sweet belt buckle I got. The sweet hikes that we had. The last sweet thing that we did was play disc gold in EP, eat at the Mexican restaurant with my parents and swam in the pool. I guess there are too many to list, like cement construction with Ed and my going away party in CO.
Enjoy your trip!
Live life to the fullest, no matter what,
Chad

UNCLE RICK said...

J'S

LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I SO WANTED THE NEWS FROM THE DR 'J' TEAM TO BE DIFFERENT. I ASKED DURING OUR PHONE CONVERSATION IF 'I COULD CURSE?' AND YOU GAVE ME PERMISSION.

SO HERE GOES @#@#@@###&^%$$##$%&*^%#@#@#$%^!!!! THERE, THAT'S PARTIALLY OUT OF MY SYSTEM. JUSTIN, I AM VERY SAD ABOUT THE NEWS YOU, AND ULTIMATELY THE REST OF US, RECEIVED TODAY. IN FACT I WAS DRIVING TO SEATTLE WHEN YOU CALLED AND I NEEDED TO PULL OFF THE FREEWAY TO CRY. I SOBBED A GOOD SOB. JJ, YOU HAVE GIVEN SO MUCH TO SO MANY, IT SIMPLY IS NOT FAIR.


I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THE "TEAM J" TOUR STOPPING IN CITIES NEAR ME.... SEATTLE, VANCOUVER BC, BELLINGHAM.


AMBER IS RIGHT, YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON TO ACCOMPANY ON A ROAD TRIP. LIKE THE LONG DISTANCE TRAVEL YOU, YOUR AUNT JOAN AND I HAD TO WILLOW RIVER. YOU NEVER MADE A SOUND. WAIT; YOU SLEPT THE ENTIRE TIME. OR, HOW ABOUT THE ROAD TRIP AFTER THE GOPHER BASKETBALL GAME WHEN YOU AND KYLE MADE ME YELL AT THE COLLEGE STUDENTS WHO WERE THROWING SNOWBALLS AT HOUSE WINDOWS. OR, MAYBE THE ROAD (DETOUR)TRIP YOU AND TREVOR TOOK ON YOUR BIKES TO FARMERS PARK....... I THINK JUSTIN ROAD TRIP STORIES COULD FILL VOLUMES.

OUR NEIGHBORS TO THE SOUTH DON'T SAY GOOD-BYE. THEY HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WORD, 'HOLA.'

HOLA FOR NOW, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART,

UNCLE RICK

Anonymous said...

Justin,
There is so much, and so little to say. I want to recount all the beautiful memories that we've had, I want to tell you I think about you and pray for you everyday, I want to tell you that you are the most inspirational person that I have ever known . . . but right now the most important thing that I can say JJ is that I love you!
JJ, I know you've thought it (we've all thought it.) It's not fair! Unfortunately, life's is not fair. That is why God has created such a beautiful place for us to look forward to, where there is no disease and we can be like be like Him in his glory. Take comfort in that JJ.
Enjoy your trip, enjoy the beauty of His creation. I look forward to seeing you upon your return. (I was hoping to be able to see you before you leave, but that bug I came down with last week - ended up being pneumonia. I fear your body would not be able to handle me right now.)

I love you JJ . . . we all love you!


Tami

Anonymous said...

Hey JJ...

Hope you have a great time on your road trip! If you make it down Colorado way I'd love to be able to see you! I'm praying for you and admire you for your strength and courage during all the trials and tribulations you've faced.

Have fun on your trip!

-Brian ("B")

Anonymous said...

Justin...

We too are very sad. There is not a whole lot more we can say..

Your words however, did strike me, "it's weird not knowing how much time I have..." None of us know how much time God has given us on His green earth. I think you are a testiment to making it work. Your idea is to take a road trip, how exciting. That is who you are!

Some of us can't take a trip out west but maybe it's time to take a smaller trip. For some of us it's across the street to a needy neighbor or friend. Maybe it's a family member that we haven't talked to. How about a job that we don't find fulfilling anymore? Your courage and attitude has certainly given me some idea's.

Thanks for everything! My prayer now for you and your family is peace, comfort, and enjoyment!

Love,

Dawn and family

Uncle Tim said...

Justin,

I can not say anything different then these amazing friends and family of yours have already said. I love you and will continue to pray for you.

WWJD

Jared said...

Kuke,

I just wanted to say that I love you kuke. I have been blessed to have you be part of my life. You have changed the way I look at the world and you have helped me grow in my faith. Thank you so very much for being such a postive infulance in my life.

Have a great time on your trip and know I'll be praying for you all the way!

Jared

Jared

Kirk and Kate W said...

JJ --

Like everyone else here, I am very saddened by the news. I feel it was so appropriate to have Jimmy V's video on your site, it is so true what he said about never giving up. I know you won't because you are a fighter, and there isn't a single one of your friends that will give up on that fight as well. We'll keep praying that something changes soon... miracles do happen and our prayers will be for one to happen for you as well.

You are a superstar in every sense of the word Justin, I hope your trip out West is a great one... it does sound like an amazing time!

You have a ton of people pulling for you, and we'll join them in keeping you in our prayers.

Kirk and Kate W

Anonymous said...

Kuke,

Your strength throughout all of this is tremendous, just like the love your friends & family have for you. I will continue to pray for you and keep you in my thoughts.

Road Trips are the best! And the one you're setting out on sounds beautiful. I hope you have a blast with your Mom, Dad, Bob & Vicki. And I look forward to seeing you soon.

LOTS of Love,

Tricia

Anonymous said...

JJ

Sounds like a sweet trip. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kevin K (Rock)

Anonymous said...

JJ,

All these words that have been said are SO true. You are such an amazing person and despite what this disease is doing to you, you are so full of life. That has always been your staple and is why have touched so many people. You have taught us how to live life to the fullest. It's so weird to wonder how much time you have left, but however long that may be, I know you will get everything you can possibly get out of it. You are the man, JJ. Have a blast. I love you and am constantly praying for you and thinking about you.

Tory

Ryan said...

Kuke,
Your a great friend and an even greater person! Have a great road trip. Our thoughts and prayers are with you!

Dahnert

Anonymous said...

Road trip?! wooowooo! Sounds like fun, is Nashville on the list of awesome cities to visit?? It sounds like you will be more out west but it would be great if you could come here! I know, I am selfish and everyone else wants you to go where they are too but I have NHL hockey tickets in a suite! I am trying to bribe you! Shoot, I don't know what sounds better to me than country music and sweaty men on the ice! Nothing! Haha, no but seriously, if you were coming out this way that would be sweet, just let me know :) I am sooo glad I came out there and got to see you! Boxers or Briefs was way fun! I am going to send you some mentho-lyptus cough drops and emergen-C!!! You are such an amazing person and I love you!!! Keep smiling and crackin' jokes! huggggggggggggggggggggg
Love,
ReAnna

Anonymous said...

Hey cousin Justin..
I know this is a little belated...but I'd like to say thanks for coming to my high school graduation ceremony... when I got my diploma and you and Tory stood up and yelled for me... that was pretty sweet, I'll always remember that. I had classmates coming up to me after the ceremony telling me how AWESOME it must be to have such a close and supportive family... AND I COULDN'T AGREE MORE!!!

TEAM JUSTIN HAS ALL THE M.V.P.'s!!! (and it doesn't matter how much the Yankees can offer, not one of us will ever trade teams)

with all of my love and the biggest hug... cousin carter

Teresa said...

Justin,
I am the wife of the kidney recipient who Deb B. donated her kidney to. I felt led to write and give you some encouragement. It was a long year of unknowns for us with my husband’s kidney failure, but by the mighty power of prayer that moves the hand of God, we made it through. We fought the good fight totally by resting in the peace of those who were praying for us. We have added you to our prayer list at our Thursday night Bible Study. We are joining you in this battle with prayer and we are calling in the prayer warriors. Put on the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20) and enjoy your RV trip with your family knowing that you are being help up in prayer. (James 5:14-15) God Bless, Teresa

Anonymous said...

JJ,
You've been like a brother to me since we were young up to when you invited me up to the U and gave me my official visit. You recruited and I signed..and then you transferred to Colorado..go figure..haha. Anyways I'm praying for you and everybody has already state everything I think about you. Your truly amazing, and have ispired us all. And we all thank you for that nobody could have inspired us more than you. I love you buddy.

-Zach

Trevor said...

JJ,

a person could pretnear write a book on here with all the thoughts, memories, and inspiration that you have provided. The bike detour story that Rick mentioned does bring a smile to my face. I think it was after we did that, Rick made the rule that we all stop and wait for everyone else to get there before we go on to the next stop. Those koolaid and candy stops in Wyatville and Miller's corner are going to hold a lot more sentimental meaning now. You deserve a lot better than this JJ, but one positive I take from this is the overflowing amount of faith, love, compassion, and inspiration that you have instilled in all of us. You have been spreading love and happiness over all of us your whole life. All of this outpouring has not been a result of you being stricken with cancer, and people feeling sorry for you, it's in return for all the joy you bring to everyone everyday of your life. Have a fantastic trip to the great northwest and give your uncle Rick a hug for me when you get out there ok. Thanks JJ. I luv you cuz.

Trevor

Anonymous said...

I have no idea where to start except that it is so incredibly difficult to be so far away. Many times a day i pray for you and send you some of my energy all the way from Ecuador. I even attempted praying in spanish last night although i am not sure how it went. Maybe i will stick with english for now :) I wish i could give you a hug and wish you the best of luck with your adventure. You will have a great time with your family and friends and you will see so many amazing things. I will never give up and i hope with everything i have that i can hug you again in July when i return to the US.
Love you tons,
Katie Cooper

Anonymous said...

Kuke da Man!

A road trip sounds awesome. Get out of old cold MN. I hope you have a great time. I will be calling you tomorrow, Foot and I are planning on stopping by if you are still watching the UFC fight. Talk to you soon and the Garber crew always has you in our thoughts.

Love,
Ben

P.S. At least you don't have to drive.

Anonymous said...

Justin,

Not a lot one can say. I know your trip will be amazing. I am glad that I have had the chance to spend some time with you in the past few months. I hope our paths will cross again. May the road ahead not be as bumpy as the one behind. Peace and Love.

Seth Cooper

Lindsay said...

I hope you have a fabulous time kukaberra! If you go through Montana remember our church trip and all of the fun and excitement there was on the trip. Even though you were in Family A and I was in family X! He he! Anyways, enjoy spending time with friends and family. I will have to come out and see you when you return. Have fun!
Lindsay

Anonymous said...

Justin,

I am so happy that you get to embark on a road trip!! You are going to have so much fun; take plenty of pictures because I think we need to have a "roadtrip recap" party when you come home!

You continue to amaze all of us with your strength and positive outlook on life. Thank you for making us want to become better people. There's a lot that we admire in you!!

Have a blast on your trip! We will be with you every mile marker of the way!

Your Friend,
Carolyn

Anonymous said...

Justin, as one of your Mom's friends, I have heard so much about you and enjoyed seeing the video. Your spirit, strength and love of family and friends is evident. Enjoy the trip, it sounds awesome. I hope that we have a chance to meet when you return. Have a safe, fun trip.

You, Kathleen and the rest of your family are in my prayers.

Barbara

Anonymous said...

Hey Justin,
Road trips are definitely in my top 10 best things in life... If your road trip allows, you should come to Colorado! I'm sure you'll have a great time no matter where you guys end up.
Just want to say that I think you're amazing. You've been faced w/ a lot of tough times, and your faith in God just keeps getting stronger - I admire you for that.

Love,
kelliann

Eric Dafoe said...

Wow, that is definitely news that is difficult to swallow.

'KukeFest'07: The Grand Tour' sounds like it will be a whirlwind adventure. ReAnna said you had plans to stop by Colorado. If this is true, I will definitely be there, and if not, we can find some other city/place to meet up.

Your still in my daily prayers and my thoughts are with you and will continue to be.

Much love,
-Eric

Anonymous said...

JJ -

Thank you for calling me Thursday night. It wasn't the news I wanted to hear, and I'm sorry for crying over the phone and having few words to say but I'm sorry. With that I'll pass you one of may favorite poems by Robert Frost.


ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Love you -

Kim